Friday, December 05, 2014

tired and over thinking

I'm at work alone and I'm so worn out..it's different being the only staff on shift and trying to get everything done..I'm worn out today..And just ready to go home..I'm a bit annoyed at things with work but I need to let it go...I'm just annoyed so easily these days...it is a pain..

I guess I have been avoiding mommy..I'm sick of being reminded about bills and money and paying everyone back..I know I don't have money for anything..I do know that...And I don't want to be reminded about it..My mood is to volatile right now..I can't keep snapping and getting frustrated with her..it's going to get me in trouble..so I guess I'll call her tonight and see what she wants..

I need to go to get cat food or taji and bounce are going to kill me..I can't forget..

My sinuses are heading for trouble..I keep getting nose bleeds again..I hate up feeling awful..And breathing is becoming hard at times and that is worrisome..big time..it makes me panic an  I don't want to go to the ER..blah..Just gotta figure out what type of medicine I need..And get some..

I've decided I'm not going home for Christmas..I can't afford it and I Don't want anyone feeling sorry for me or whatever..but I know that mood wise or emotionally I'm going to keep going downhill..I don't know how to get through the holidays without freaking out...I'll manage of course..but it just something that is worrying and stressing me out...

I did end up getting to see Sarah today..kind of unplanned..but nice all the same..there are very good perks to getting to be with Sarah..it was hard leaving and having to come to work...because I was ready to fall asleep without having to worry for a little  while... her morning person wasn't able to come..so I ended up going to help out..And was going to fall asleep but got there and couldn't get to  sleep..go figure..

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