odd

im feeling a bit dead right now...maybe more like dulled out.. im tired but i slept last night decently...maybe im just stressing out more than usual again...im glad my meeting for tonight got cancelled im not sure i would have lasted that long..i have to go home and clean up..i cant find the floor to my room anymore...darn ming for using my bed as a tree...my blanket has just been sitting on my floor for the past week...and now i have pulled everything out of my closet because nothing looks right and i cant decide on what to wear even though i could care less as to how i looked...some days i care most days i dont...its not like anyone is wasting there time looking at me..and yet i swear everyone looks at me...judging..gotta be a pain being me sometimes..

but i was reading the school newspaper today you know before i went and failed my test?! maybe that is part of the bad mood right now...but anyway back to what i was saying...reading newspaper and saw that there is a group on my campus called NAMI (national alliance for the mentally ill, ecu chapter of course) but i never knew it was here...but it got my attention to say the least...i emailed the president to see if they could tell me more about it...i dont know if ill join or anything but i may go sit in on a meeting at least..and since there only once a month it wouldnt be a huge commitment...and i could say i was doing it for my career if anyone was dumb enough to ask why i was in it...given that could be part of the truth but cant say its anyones business about the whole truth if they arent a select few :p...so anyway ill see what they say when they email me back...who knows maybe it will be a good thing joining or at least going a few times and see how its run and everything...

been spending a heck of a lot of time on neopets lately..not doing anything but playing games and wasting time...obsessing over finding avis..but im up to 103 now!! very cool deal..took forever to get that many but im still way behind..right now im just saving up money on my main acct..considering i have 4 of them lol...but none of the others are really active...just mainly holding cool pets i found at different times in the pound...wishing they were on my main acct of course lol but oh well...

yesterday sucked food wise and i ate way to much of those stupid lil cinnamon stick things that was at the dinner...darnit i love those ... ate some this morning too but now there all gone and no more...hmmm that wasnt good though...to much sweet stuff...i should go eat a apple or something..i want some ice...and then ill go home friday and listen to why i need to lose weight and blah blah blah as if becoming veggie wasnt enough...back to my usual junk on monday though..as soon as i figure out what that is!