class and such

class today was interesting...i started zoning out after we watched the video and just kinda went from there...but then the teacher closed the blinds so i couldnt look out the window..convo was about something but what caught my attention was when she said that patients sometimes dont tell the truth because it would mean that if they tell the truth to the doctor they have to tell the truth to themselves...main reason it caught my attention was because i do that..well not lie persay but i leave a heck of a lot of stuff out and my wonderful explaintions are just horrible most of the time...it makes me think im trying to tell a story without knowing the whole darn thing...duh thats what we were talking about..client/doctor confidentialty...thats the other reason i zoned out...i hate the rules for breaking confidence...that and it really sucks you can be arrested for trying to kill yourself...but anyway back to what i was rambling about .... ok i dont lie when i half talk but i guess it counts as that since im not telling everything... why dont i talk? hmmm .. im asking the wrong question...why do want to be seen as a good person? thats just backwards because i work to hard at trying to prove im a bad person...not that its believable just yet .. but thats the wrong question too...hmmm so what has happened that has screwed me over so bad? thats just a stupid question but then i know the answer to that one...and since its an answer i really dont like, i just talk around it...why i do what i do? that ones just confusing...is it really about control cas i dont know? gggrrrrr...im forgetting what im trying to talk about...will think on it some more *sigh*