My brain is overloaded right now..I'm feeling anxious and tearful...I did see Anita today and we talked about what's been going on and I told her what has been kind of going on and how I've been..but I haven't been able to track my moods and my journal has no time of reference..so that wasn't so helpful..but I've asked to journal daily and to write about the touch thing when it happens and stuff...so that is ok..we talked a lot actually about the touch thing since I did bring it up..I'm not sure why I brought it up but I did...so we talked..I worked on my journal more too...still not finished though...Anita mentioned that I may be trying to hard to make it all fit together..And she is right..I'm slowly losing the ability to look at it objectively...it's hard..there is so much pain and sadness and it is hard to ignore it when I'm sitting there reading it all...so that is going slow...really slow..talked about work and everything..And a general check in...I forgot to mention that I'm starting to have trouble sleeping..And bad dreams about death again...there is never enough time during the session..seriously...
After leaving her..I was feeling ok.but gradually my mood has gone down a lot...I feel like crying and I'm tired of so much..My head refuses to stop hurting and I really don't want to be at work...it's to hard and I'm thinking to much..I want to be left alone and that can't happen at work...Maybe I won't do anything tomorrow ...Just lay down and not do anything...I don't know..
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