Ok this may be crazy long..I guess I'll start with the current stuff and work my way back...currently my stomach is going crazy..the past couple weeks I guess, almost everything I eat is upsetting my stomach...And its just a pain constantly running to the bathroom..I need to figure out what is causing it..because I'm once again having stomach issues and I don't like it at all...it's been happening almost daily..it's not fun..if it keeps up I may end up making an appointment to see the doc...
Also for like the past couple weeks I've been getting really bad cramps but no actual period...I'm not sure the aleeve is helping..but I'm starting to feel pretty crummy physically..I'm not really sure what is going on ...so I'm gonna go back to fixing my meals an not eating out so much...I still pretty good with decreasing the soda...only like once or twice a week..And not massive amounts..so better on that..but I'm gonna have to figure out what is causing my stomach to stay so upset...it hurts..And I end up not feeling good..And last weekend I wasnt feeling good at all..Sunday ended up with me spending most of the day laying down and sleeping..but gradually as the day went on I started to feel better ..And I was over at Sarah's and not by myself...I can't remember the last time I willingly let someone else take care of me..but it was nice to be able to let go of things for a little while...
Things at work are pretty much the same..working a hell of a lot for not much of a paycheck..but I'm surviving I guess...I'm looking for a new job..And I really just want stability so bad..where I know my hours and when I'll work and all of that...And physically feeling so crummy has me just wishing I could take a few days off of work..Just to have some down time...but I can't afford to do that..so I'll keep coming to work not feeling the greatest..
I think today my mood is going crazy ..I'm ok and then just as quickly not ok..My brain hurts and I'm tired and well not feeling good..I want to be left alone but not alone ...Ugh...I'm just feeling off..really really off..I missed seeing Anita this week..not a good idea..I don't even remember now why I ended up cancelling..but I'm scheduled for next week so that will work out...
Yesterday ended up with me feeling really anxious..I know this because I was picking at my feet..And yes picking my feet apart is just as bad as picking at my fingers..I need to pay more attention to my feet if I managing to pick at them...but I ended up upset yesterday morning about something with Sarah but I actually told her I was upset and later sad...it was just triggering in a big way..thankfully it ran it's course..I used my coping skills and calmed down..even managed to no hang on to the sad feelings...dinner and flowers were an unexpected perk...but I loved them.
Right now I'm hoping that I don't end up in a not good place again...I'm started to get that rocky things aren't Ok feeling....I don't know
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