Monday, January 26, 2015

.....when did I decide to call it quits?

Todays therapy was useless...my fault really...I wasn't explaining well..I couldn't figure out how to say what's going on...still cutting . Still want to die...still feeling hopeless and useless with life and things...I really don't know what to do...I did clean the cuts this morning... but taking a shower is a chore... it hurts but its what I deserve..

Force a smile for the next eight hours and continue to try to convince myself not to die... I want to go home and not have to deal with work today...but I have to work...but I still want to hide...

My thoughts are a mess today..I feel confused and lost...I don't know what I want or need right now and that is never a good thing...I'm wishing that I had put the razors in my bag...I can't focus...


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