well

It is unsettling to realize that life goes on..regardless of how I am feeling..nothing stops even though I'm overwhelmed and just sad..really sad....I don't really know what to do with myself..I haven't managed to get a hold the razors I want..so haven't cut..the thoughts are still there..wanting something to just ease some of the turmoil inside...again made it to work and today I'm worn out..working like 12 hours today and still have the rest of the week to get through...I'm tired..I don't have the energy..I have to convince myself to take a shower..getting in the shower this morning was physically painful..And took forever..I want to sleep..I really do..the moments of clarity are hard because I can see how things are..but the other feelings come.back..they keep coming back...I see.Courtney tomorrow..as long as the weather isn't crappy...Maybe she will figure things out...