thanksgiving

Today is thanksgiving.. I'm currently laying in bed not doing anything..waiting pretty much until its time for me to go to work...I'm trying to not be sad and upset but I am..I'm feeling incredibly left out..everyone is at nias. No one needs to know I'm feeling so down..I think its just not being with noa.. I know I have to work and save and handle things here...but its hard. The holidays are just hard and sad and I feel like crying..I have to work tonight and finally get to hang out at Sarah's for a couple days.. I'm tired of work and issues and sadness...I really want a break from life without resorting to anything dangerous..at Sarah's I'm safe.. sigh... this is so depressing.. the urge to numb out is strong...very strong...