freaking a

I'm having a hard night..bad day..whatever..I'm upset and jealous an  on  edge and sad and feeling  ignored an  forgotten...PAY ATTENTION TO ME..

I don't care..I'm thinking too much and    can't seem to get myself together tonight....I just want to go home and go to sleep...

I can't help but think  that mommy has still won...she has me completely under her control and now because of everything and work and stuff I can't even get the time to go and see Sarah...I just suck at life...

Not even watching frozen is helping my mood...I'm angry..And I don't know why...I want to lash out and I don't know why..all that is left is attacking myself and I'm great at that...I can attack myself on a consistent basis and no one will even know..I'm very close to just hating myself immensely right now and it just feels out of control...

I'm feeling very alone...empty...invisible..

Who was I kidding?? There is no relief for me..the negativity and bad  thoughts and irrationality will never go away...I'm very easy to replace..I'm not needed or wanted...

I am nothing