Pharmacy Class has begun

just a little ramble..brain is on high alert. i miss school. ok i miss the school supplies but being in the pharmacy class today as an older person is so very different from being that scared college kid. no i still do not want to do a presentation or speak in front of the class (there are 4 of us) .. but i know i will. i expectations are different in this experience. like i signed up for the class. so that means no halfassing it ..i paid for the class with my own money. so there is a commitment there. i have to see it through. i have to work hard and pass. I want to take the national test, not the state one. i want to be certified, not just have the license. this actually interests me, it holds my attention. Im so glad that it is a course for 12 weeks because there is a bit of math involved. no i am not a scared kid who doesnt know what in the world im doing ... ok i am a scared kid but i have life experience now. this is a different kind of scared you know... this is a scared that is mixed in with i know i want to do this, i want to do a good job. I want to learn this stuff and know it and remember it. I have to keep reminding myself im not going to be seen as a kid .. i have to be adult. I have to say what i know and not pretend like i dont know stuff. but i dont want to be a know it all either. 

my brain is going back and forth a lot right now..and i know i need some down time to kind of regroup and focus ..im gonna have to go and get a few more supplies ..and im gonna have to schedule in study time at the library.    

It is nice to have something that i am working towards. that i actually care about.  im not being forced to do it..im not needing it to pass something ..it is totally my choice and that makes it so different in a lot of ways.