depression ... lack of confidence

ever since mommy has told me about the party i have been beating myself up..wondering what to wear..wondering if i am good enough..and the more i think and worry about it..the more my confidence lags and disappears...i mean there wasnt a lot of it anyway but its like scraping the bottom of the barrel right this minute... i keep looking for outfits or dresses that i like..and judging my self harshly because i dont have the body to wear them..i want to look nice but im comparing myself against other people i know will be at the party and its like i fail miserably..and i am ashamed that i cant wear a lot of stuff because of scars...and i hate it..so much for fitting in...i just dont ..and ill never be good enough ..and i just want to go ahead and give up..im frustrated and sad and scared..