sad

I want to write but words escape me..sadness nd loneliness are eating at me. I'm so scared and worried and trying so hard to hide it. Sarah needs me to be strong. I have to be strong and calm. No crying. No cutting. I have to remind myself of these things daily..if I stop for to long or think to much I'll cry..I'm going tomorrow to see her..after I see Anita..I'm scared..I'm not strong..I'm so so sad