worried

I,am,scared and worried about Sarah...And now I'm far away and can't get t  her and all I can.,do is be reassuring and be there for he  over the phone.. I'm afraid she is going to have to go back to the hospital and that scares me..I'm already trying to shut myself down and do stupid things out of fear..I want her ok and better and her not feeling good makes me cry...I  glad it's.the.silent tears right now
..I'm aat nias..which will keep me safe but I want to be with Sarah..i have to keep it together..I have to stay in control...I have to. Stop crying..I will be talking to Sarah in about three hours and will check on her..today is doubly sad because Emerson is going t  his new home today :(  Maybe I need to lay down for a bit...I have been up since 6 worrying...I'm just scared...I want her to feel better..she is the strong one..I'm not..without her I keep falling apart....No more leaving her...I don't think I can handle it...