it is becoming clearer....

i can not work with someone who is actively self harming ...not in a professional sense....it gives me a sense a uselessness that is overwhelming me ...i feel lost and like i have let every one down because i am not able to save this girl..another incident tonight and my thoughts are circling again around cutting..around hurting..trying to convince myself why a few cuts would make things easier..would let some of the pressure go...but i cant..i cant..im trying so hard..and its so hard being strong when i watch her and she takes this way out ..over nad over and over and it just kills me to have to keep working to stay safe and she could care less...and its like im stressed and overwhelmed but im expected to be ok...and im not..i just want to sit and cry right now because im feeling bad ..and stupid and flawed and sad...and i cant get the thoughts to stop...

i feel like a failure