Saturday, December 31, 2016

Goodbye 2016

As 2016 comes to a close i wish i could say that im thinking wonderful thoughts about 2017..something inspirational, something to change the world..but im actually not...im honestly thinking about what time i can go to bed and if i need to set my alarm for 11:50pm.

My thinking is pretty low key right now..and today has been an ok day...i cooked dinner and it was super good..we had ice cream and pie for dessert..and i got sarahs xbox set up for her, i went to the store too.  little things..i wasnt feeling good this morning and into the afternoon and that is so frustrating...i do plan to make some changes with my health going into the new year..because i feel awful more days than i feel good..and i hate it...i have things to save up for trips and other fun stuff with sarah in 2017.  but honestly i am coming to the conclusion that i need to learn to deal with and take care of myself...  i havent cut in maybe 4 or 5 months ..i think the last time was aug..my eating issues though are alive and well and that bothers me a bit.  i want to get another kitten.  i want to travel and go places and do things.. i keep myself trapped in a lot of ways and i want that to change..but im not making resloutions...now i ust have goals ..things i want to work towards... and i think my biggest goal is finding my sisters grave when i go to new york..once i figured that out i just cant seem to let it go...i have to find her..and i will..

2016 has been a heck of a year...it started off really rocky and it is ending on a very stable note...i mean i have a place to live..im with sarah..i have kai and gizmo..ive made new friends..i met new people..i got to travel to new places .. i am paying bills and not running out of money so quickly..ok holiday season sooooo doesnt count lol... but in all honesty i am doing much better today than i was at this point last year... i have been trying .. really actually trying ..and i guess it is beginning to pay off...my goal to become more stable actually happened and that is a bit mind blowing ! i did it..with sarahs help and support ..i realize i am more stable.. wow

all things must come to an end though and this year ends in only a few hours.  im hoping that next year will bring about more growth and happiness..

Goodbye 2016 
Hello 2017

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