Saturday, January 30, 2016

never enough

Tears started tonight and it took a little bit to calm down...feeling the nee to destroy myself because I'm not good enough...old messages..old tapes playing..sadness drowns me..And I feel as if I am nothing..never enough as I am...go home so all my flaws can be pointed out for my own good...so that my thinking becomes confused and old habits never really go away... am I safe at home? I'm already freaking out..I my need to hand over my razors...I wish I could explain ..honestly explain why it's not ok right now without being told that I should be thankful and happy that I have a place to go..


Is suicide enough
???
Will I be good enough then?

This time skipped the si urges and moved straight to suicidal.....

Fml

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Don't know what to do but pray for you. Please use the techniques you have learned to give yourself the positive messages that are truth to fight against the negative you are hearing. Please think of the many good things and let the negative roll off and not stick. Tune her out...give whatever cursory response is needed but pay it no attention unless there is something helpful amidst the bad. You are enough. And if you are unsafe go check yourself into the hospital. Please do not hurt yourself. janet

UnicornPrincess said...

I'm safe. I have therapy today before I head home. I'll be ok.