Actually right now im feeling betrayal from all corners.. The thing at home that I wasn't included in..but talking to Nia today let me know how big it was and how many people can..but I was here. Guilty and ignored..the work issues popping up..and not being sure how to handle them...wilderwood lying to me is a betrayal but I'm going because I promised Sarah I would ... I don't know if its just the month or so much going on ..so much stress and worrying about so many different thins..now car issues...and paying back Nia and rob has to start. Tramaine has been messaging me again .. Mommy is doing her usual.. Not out right asking for money but I know she needs some to thanks to Wayne being a dang jackass..my ability to curse is increasing at an alarming rate...I'm becoming depressed..more depressed than usual..more tearful...more unable to cope..and I don't know what I'm doing. . I forget what I'm doing..I try and fail so easily..I feel stupid and guilty so often lately...like I'm not doing enough..I'm not trying enough. My thoughts are sinking.. The fact that it's September just makes me want to hide even more...September does not mean happy...there is no happy in this month and I keep forgetting that. Bad bad bad me
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