not doing so great

I really hate when I being to feel out of control..when I begin to feel useless and hopeless and not needed...My body becomes the battle ground..it's the only one I have...im at war with myself..And it will get worse..it is getting worse...it started with pills and has grown...And now eating is becoming a battle..refusing to eat..eating twice a day..And it is going to get less..No one can know...there is nothing wrong..there is never anything wrong..I'm fine..I'm just destroying myself...And that is what it is...I'm sorry