i dont know . confusion

my head is going a million miles a minute as i try to figure out how to save the world...ok im trying to figure out how to make a million things work out and figure out how much i need to save for stuff and what to do about things and how to make it all work out .. a million things to do..but i cant seem to think clearly enough or slow enough to find a solution to anything..i just think and think and over think all of it until its all just a mass of confusion stuck in my head.   maybe it is the little things that the meds help..like slowing my thoughts down and letting me think though things..it dampens the anger .. it helps me be around people without wanting to bite someones head off. right now i want to be left alone..my head hurts and i was sick a couple times last night so im just not feeling good..but at the same time my eyes are heavy and i feel like crying..but why?   there is nervous energy...a lot of nervous energy that i dont know how to get rid of .. i have to move..i have to think..i just have to do something and since my body is not working right today then my mind has gone off into a million different directions..trying to solve problems..trying to plan and organzie and just do something..anything.. i need to slow my head down and i cant..nothing seems to work..sleep?  i ate way to much yesterday but the egg rolls did not agree with me in the end and i got sick ...my stomach is sore and tender and gross today but im not feeling nauseous anymore at least ..  little thoughts are beginning to slip in about taking all of my medicine and just calling it quits...  maybe laying down is a good idea ..  i think things may be heading into a not so good place..am i supposed to call courtney?  no. im fine.  super fine. awesomely fine.  i said i would stop them and get to a base line.  i just dont know where that base line is going to fall..