Sunday, August 07, 2016

closure

maybe i am the one that needs closure...i need to say goodbye..i need to acknowledge her..something..anything..

i actually asked mommy the other day about where nicole is buried..she said she knew of course..and told me the name of the cemetery and i promptly forgot..today i took the funeral program thing back out and actually read and paid attention to what i was reading...i know where she is buried..i dont know where she is at there but i know the name of the cemetery now.  its evergreens cemetery in new york.. information that i think i have dreaded finding out..and i feel overwhelmed and terrified..what is the next stepp?  do i even want to take the next step? well i have to figure out the next step...  i know i want to go and see her..see if i can find her..but they should have the records there..i will be able to find her...and that scares me senseless

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Yes they will have records so yes you can visit the grave site. It might help you. I don't go to Dan's grave often but the last time I did no one was nearby and I talked to him telling him things going on in my life, how I felt etc. Being there and talking to her might help. But you can do that from anywhere too. Have you ever written her a letter? You might do that now and plan a trip to the cemetery when you don't feel as scared about it. love you