Thursday, October 01, 2015

life waits for no one

My brain is sluggish bit I feel like. a lot is on my mind right now so worrying it is...I'm back on my meds..  saw my doc today and i actually let her know that I was off of one of them and because my blood pressure was so good today she said that we are going to hold off on the one I'm not taking..And see how my blood pressure does..I have to go back in to have it checked in a couple weeks..but everything overall was ok...got my usual lab work done, and depo shot and flu shot today..to say my arms are killing me is putting it lightly...I'm feeling. A bit miserable actually..My weight is the same though...for three months I say that is good but I told mommy and got the you can do better speech and so immediately felt bad but I'm to tired to take it out on myself today..I'm just down. I had to take off my shirt at the doc to have her  look at my back...embarrassing..but I needed her to see..she sent in a cream..Maybe Sarah can put it on my back  for me...

I talked to Sarah the other day about somethings and we had some time together and it was a much needed release...I'm just stills  struggling so much to accept that sex is a release and that it's ok to like it and want it and maybe even need it. I can't get there as often as I like and so it hard  ..And I get stuck and act on things negatively..I don't mean too

Things with Anita are rough..Well rough territory..scary territory...

I may have a part tome job...at ac moore...I  waiting for my background check...And then ill know when I can start...it's something..I'll be able to live..it's going to be tight..but I'll manage..somehow I'll manage.

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