disconnected

The past two days has been really hard..um trying to get it together and I have moments where I feel like I'm all together but mostly it just feels like I'm not connected to anything... my brain doesn't want to stay where it is supposed to stay..and I guess some of it has to do with the pain and cramps from my period starting..the cramps are bad and its making me feel so out of it and cranky and short tempered..and its making my back hurt..actually my whole lower stomach area hurts and I feel like I'm starving and I just want to eat chocolate and I'm so frustrated with everything.. I paid the rent and my car insurance with this check..and it just made me sadder...mommy asking to borrow money has left me with nothing...and there is a limit on asking for it back..I can only ask to borrow up to 20 and no more..I was going to try to get my meds and I can't now ...another two weeks before that is an option.. I guess I have some food .. it will pretty much be grilled cheese. pdandj and noodles...for the next two weeks..how I'm gonna budget for cat food and litter us beyond me right this minute..I need gas for next week and the worry and stress makes me just feel worried band scared..and stressing out doesn't help anything at all..and I just feel useless because I can't do anything at all..I can't get out of survival mode and I keep getting stuck in my head and I can't get out... hopeless I guess