my world has stopped

my world has stopped moving in a sense..im feeling to many things and im struggling to put things into words..i can feel myself wanting to react ..wanting to hurt and im trying to remain safe but with each hour my desire to stay safe decreases,,and i am wondering what i am going to do..or not do .. or whatever..my thinking is negative and numb and sometimes my head just feels so empty.. well since yesterday ... i am broken

i saw my therapist yesterday and she told me that this would be her last week..that she found another job...somewhere in my head/heart i know i am happy for her...but right now all i feel is hurt..i am angry..sad..betrayed..and very very hurt...there was no real warning..i hadnt seen her for 3 weeks! and i go see her yesterday only to find out that this is her last week..and she told me and i automatically started shutting down..i wouldnt look at her..i said no to everything and left early..it was to painful..i was trying so hard not to cry..so i told her i would just leave early...i almost made it out of the building before i started to cry...driving and crying like that probably wasnt the best idea but i couldnt sit in the parking lot either .. so i came home .. i cant really process all that happened. i know i shut her out and it happened without any real thought from me..it just happened.. she mentioned that she will be seeing ppl on thusrday evening ..but that i wouldnt be able to come every week..and so i dont think that is going to be helpful..i dont want a new person ..i give up on therapy..she is the longest i have been with one therapist and actually talked to her..i dont..i cant start over..
old thoughts take over my head..pretending and hiding and getting by..that is all i have to do..and just slip by unnoticed...that is all i can do..for now though..silence is all i want..