Sunday, June 05, 2016

Day 1....yet again

How many times do I have to fall just to have to get back up again...I don't know how long it was without cutting but today is day 1 again..And I'm frustrated with all of it..things have been stressful lately and I know there are other coping skills but yesterday...yesterday's feelings were the tipping point..I want so much to be accepted..liked...And I know Sara's family doesn't acknowledge me..but I guess hearing plans being made to visit specifically when I am not here just hurts..My feelings are hurt an  I can't stop thinking about not being good enough..I don't fit in my own family..My birth family gave me away..And now Sarah's family wants nothing to do with me..I feel rejected in a major way..I try so hard and still can't manage ..I'm tired..I'm sad...I know it is out of my control but the thoughts and feelings that have been triggered are alive and well :(

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I'm sorry Nat. I wish I could hug you. I don't have any pat answers. I keep having my own Day 1 again and again too on my particular issues but I keep trying and hope you will too. You are loved by God. You are loved by me and I know many many others. I know it doesn't take away the pain of Sarah's family not accepting you. I hope that will change someday but please remember you have value and are a beautiful person.