The last time I checked..I didn't need someone else telling on me..I was right though..she ducking told on me like I'm a child and tramaine is my parent...I am beginning to think that is what she feels she is..but the thing is that .. I am feeling very resentful with her and I'm not feeling to fond of Sheena right now either..I don't need to be watched and reported on..I'm not living with mommy...but now it is beginning to feel as if I am...And it is frustrating..And I no longer feel safe in my apartment...And. feel like in being targeted and judged and I can't deal with that ..Well I can but it won't be in a good way.. I know I'm not thinking that clearly and I'm not feeling so good at all...And I'm thinking more impulsively and wanting to react immediately..I didn't say anything to her..about what she said..because she is my ride to work..I'm not that dumb..but considering my checkout Friday I think that I may rent the car..I'm sick of feeling like I'm just an afterthought..that I can't go anywhere without asking..being stuck at work for an hour or more every time I work..I don't know..once again having trouble focusing and have a major headache..
I know I'm not taking care of myself very well..And prolly haven't been for a good while..talking the my client and coworker about her diabetes and eating habits put that in major highlight I guess..I'm a horrible example.. I am...And I'm feeling so ashamed of myself because of it...I'm ashamed that I'm still struggling with the depression and cutting..when I'm supposed to be the example..the proof that you can get past it..And instead instead I'm still in that same spot..Maybe not exactly as before but I'm still there..still struggling..I'm not anything..I'm not helping myself or anyone else.
I'm not able to do anything or be anything..
No comments:
Post a Comment