well ...-sigh- well
i saw the doc today and i got a talking to about not taking care of myself and not caring enough to do it and well falling off the wagon of good health yet again... ugh...im so frustrated with myself you know...i know better..i have done better..and still i fall off the wagon...i am heavily in not caring mode but that is going to have to change as my weight and sguars and everything is up...and that is not ok...im just disappointed ... and i need to make some changes you know....changes i have made before ...changes that will help me ...
i dont know
but mood wise..mentla health wise things are pretty low .. i am struggling a bit with the negative thinking and intrusive thoughts and have actually caught myself wondering how cfast i would have to go to crash my car a couple times...and it scares me ...it really does....old thoughts about not being good enough are popping up and wanting to hurt myself thoughts are creeping in like monsters under the bed..i cant escape thiem...i cant control them and i am nervous being with myself when i know i can be irrational as heck about these things...
so again i dont know
1 comment:
Nat, the only way to achieve long lasting victory is through the help of Jesus Christ and even then, we have to understand the tactics of Satan and how to battle a spiritual attack. Without that, we can achieve some on/off victory but it remains a constant struggle. If you want to hear more sharing about a life with Jesus as personal Lord and savior, you know my number. In the mean time, keep battling the best you can. You have gained some victory before and can again. Despite your uncertainty about the Lord, ask Him to help you and to speak to your heart about who He is.
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