what am i doing ??

im pasively sabatoging my job..im not doing the notes..i can rightfully be fired for not doing the notes..i could cause alot of trouble for the company for not doing the notes..and what have i still not completely done???my notes...im frustrated and annoyed with myself at this point...and im annoyed ill be written up today...my fault completely ..but still...i dont like it..i gotta get my motivation back..something..ugh