Today and yesterday have been really long days...busy days..And I'm not sure if I am completely processing things...we talked to the case manager about me being here into the new agency is in place..And it is a big responsibility...a big thing to do...I have to be careful that I don't get burned out or startt to feel so tired that I no longer want to help...I guess that means I just need to do self care and not keep things bottled up...I have to be idealistic about what I can do and not try to be super woman and move heaven and earth to get things done...I'm not doing it to be recognized or anything..I agreed to stay way back when things started to look sketchy...I am here ..I will,stay...its just I feel bad for needing space at times or having mood issues and shut down..or being a spazz and crying for some unknown reason..ughh..it will work out...it has too..it's going to. I have to be confident..I'm trying to be confident and not dwell on things mommy tell me...My life is slowly becoming more stable....I feel safe at Sarah's...I have a small steady paycheck...soon we will be moving..around may...Im going to get kai in a couple weeks and bringing him back with me..much to bounces horror...I really need to get kai fixed..essh...I'm going home with Sarah for a couple days to get kai and all of that...
I'm feeling more or stable ground I guess...the depression has eased a bit...things don't look so bleak right now...I'm trying...I think I'm looking for validation...Maybe that's what it...Just reassurance that I'm doing ok...that I'm making good choices...that I don't need to be afraid...I don't know...
2 comments:
You are doing ok Nat. Keep balance and DO make sure you can take care of yourself and not burn out. Insist on it. Wish we could talk in person and really catch up. I've missed a lot about your life in recent years. But know I'm always routing for you and believing in you. You can do this.
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